Plants Planted Apart

When I was young, my grandmother would always take me to the province with her during the summer vacation. There, I spend my simple days helping her with the farm and watching her do her chores from under the shade of a "kubo" or nipa hut. 

One sunny day, while we were having a snack of ripe yellow mangos under a tree, a question popped into my head. "Lola, why do you plant the seeds so far apart?"

"So they can breathe and grow healthy", my lola answered, smiling at me.

Back then, I had no idea what she meant. But as grew up, I understood the meaning behind her old wise words. A decade and a half later, I realized that relationships are similar to how we plant seeds. We carefully select the best seed of our preference from barrels and barrels, from store to store. We invest time to plant feelings, emotions and experiences while waiting for the seeds to grow into something beautiful and worthy to reap. 

But the process doesn't end when you plant the seeds. The farmer has to select or make an environment conducive for the growth of his seeds. 

One, they have to planted apart so their roots will not tangle with each other, receiving equal amounts from oxygen and nutrients from the soil. Similarly, a couple has to spend time apart to focus on the part of their lives they do not share with their partner. Family, friends, hobbies, and sometimes, just the simple alone-time to have some self talk. Love knows DETACHMENT. 

Second, seeds grow with a cup of radiating sunshine and a cloud-full of rain. It needs change in the weather. Constant sunshine will dry the soil, thus kill the plant. Constant rain will drown the plant or wash it away. Similarly, when we are in a relationship, we have to adapt to change. We have to feel pain in order to know the feeling of joy; we have to feel sadness to know the feeling of happiness; and we have to know the feeling of being incomplete to know the feeling of being complete.

Third, growth needs time. Time is needed for the seed to transform into a plant, grow leaves, deeper roots and unfold a beautiful flower. In a relationship, whether friendship or a romantic partnership, to achieve one thing, certain preparations have to be made. Temperance is needed while things fall into their proper places. Feelings grow deeper, familiarity roots farther in the past and lives become intertwined. 

Lastly, the farmer and the seeds need communication. Remember the theory wherein plants are considered to feel the emotions we share with them? It might sound nuts at one point, but it's true. Relationships need good communication in order to grow, for it is in communication that common ground is discovered. Communication is not necessarily in form of words, for actions are necessary to accentuate and complement words. Words are empty without actions. Actions are vague without words. Both are needed for growth.

Be wary of destructive relationships. Seeds planted close together; one seed out-growing the other; too much sunshine, too much rain; impatience and selfishness; and most of all misunderstandings.