There comes a point in our lives that we feel stuck in a rut. Unable to move forward, unable to forget or forgive, unable to think sensibly. And no matter how much our friends try to help us, it seems that no small talk, or big talk for that, can get through us.
This point in our lives can be brought about by a death of a loved one, a really bad day at work, a fight with your bestest best friend and, the most of them all, a break up.
I have recently gone through this phase in my life. I refused to talk to my friends about what happened and I kept all the hatred (both to myself and my ex), self-pity and anger bottled up inside me. I thought I was doing fine until the day came that the bottled feelings exploded and I broke down. I got sick both physically and emotionally. My anger paralyzed me.
I felt so betrayed by the person who I trusted with my gravest, darkest secrets. The fact that I’m an asshole magnet came crashing to me and it slapped me so hard across the face. I knew then that I fell, hard and broken.
My eureka moment came that one rainy day at the office when I was scanning through some webpages. I came across a phrase that changed the way I look at my situation: “The strong is broken so they may ask for strength.”
From this experience, I learned to face my fears and face the fact that I am not alright, that I am broken. I realized that we are continuously challenged and broken so we may find ourselves over and over and realize the things that actually matter in our lives. I realized that no matter how hard friends try to help friends, nothing will come of it until the person acknowledges that there is a problem, that not everything is going the way we want it to be, that things go the way they should for us to learn our lessons and become better people. I kept reminding myself that things happen for a reason and it gave me the strength to believe in the purpose of things again. I started to believe that I have a purpose in this life.
We learn to forgive the hard way, we learn to love through our hatred, we learn to open our eyes in the darkness and face our worst fears.
Surprisingly, once I accepted the fact that something is wrong, it gradually faded away along with all the pain and hatred that came along with it. I started seeing the light and the blessings continued to come into my life. New opportunities came to me like low hanging fruits. All I had to do was grab them.
I know that some time in the future, I will find myself at this point again but with new challenges, new pain and new lessons to learn.
But I know that as long as I continue to believe, live and be happy, the pain and the tears will be all worth it.
And life goes on.
