Epilogue

She ran her fingers along the mare’s smooth white hair and smiled. She loves to ride. It is the only time that she feels free from her father’s unending demands, riding fast along the manor’s vicinity, feeling the cold wind whipping across her face. Seventeen, still not betrothed, and yet she feels like she’s imprisoned. She looked up and saw fluffy white clouds lazily floating across the beautiful, blue sky.

It is warm today, she thought as a trickle of sweat ran down the nape of her neck. She can feel her curly brown hair sticking to her cap. She remembered what her mother used to say.

You have such beautiful eyes, they are color of the sky. That was when she was still alive. The manor was full of smiles and laughing, singing and dancing.

I hope she knows how father turned into when she died, she silently cursed. I wonder how things would have been if she didn’t die.

She continued to brush the mare’s hair with her fingers and found stubble of tangled hair along the mare’s mane. She frowned.

It must have been from the puddle of mud we almost fell into, she thought.

Her father would be furious if he sees her grooming her white mare, but she would love to delay coming back to the manor as much as she can. She turned to look at the stable where the brushes are being kept and her breathe caught.

There, standing by the rack where the equipment are hanged, is a tall young man with a set of deep purple eyes and dark, curly hair. She studied his dirty white shirt, the sleeves rolled up to the elbow. His hard muscles are evident underneath the thin piece of cloth. It is warm today, she thought. He looked at her and smiled, revealing white teeth.

She looked away, feeling the color starting to rise to her cheeks. She forced herself look at him again, thinking that he might perceive her as a snob. She looked back at the stable and almost gasped as he moved from the stable towards her.

“What is wrong m’lady?”, he said, smiling.

She looked away again, suddenly robbed of her ability to speak. She looked up again and saw the gentle crease of his dimples, making her heart skip a beat.

“Uh-mmm-uh”, she started to say.

“M’lady?,” he asked, his perfect brows creasing his forehead as he frowned with confusion.

 “Her hair got dried mud. I was thinking of brushing them off”, she managed to say.

He smiled. “Let me help you with that, m’lady. It is my job anyway. Please sit by the shade, it’s incredibly hot today.”

She scowled. “I can do it by myself.” She doesn’t like it when people treat her like a helpless little child.

He looked away, embarrassed, briskly walking to the shed. “We know that m’lady. But if your lord father sees you or finds out, he will whip us nonetheless.”

She sighed. “He is cruel. Please forgive him.”

“There is nothing to forgive m’lady”, he said, quickly making his way back to the mare, a large circular brush in his hand. He started brushing the mare’s mane. “Your father is kind. He gave us home when my father died, and he let my mother sew and knit little things for the manor. He gave us food and a warm bed to rest into after a long day at work. It is only proper that we follow his bidding,” he finished, smiling.

She smiled back.

Sharp pain exploded along her right arm. She gasped and looked into cold, emerald eyes.

“Brother,” she rasped. “Please, it hurts.”

“You should not speak to the servants in that manner,” her brother snarled, his hands digging into her arm.

She struggled to be free herself from her brother’s iron grasp. He looked at the stable boy coldly and the boy could only look away.

She was dragged into the foliage, leading to the trees that grow around the manor. She tripped on roots and broken branches but her brother kept a firm grip on her arm. Her fingers started to get numb, she can feel the tears welling behind her eyes. She willed them back, refusing to show any weakness.

Finally, they stopped. Her brother released her and looked around. She can see the panic in his eyes.

“What were you thinking?!,” he whispered, anger lingering at every word.

“I only went for a ride!”

“That was not what I was talking about!”

“I only spoke to him because he takes care of my horse!”

“Father is already suspecting that you have feelings for that boy! Do not make him angry. You know what he does to people who crosses him.”

He hugged her. She can feel him shaking. He gently puched her away, but kept her at arms reach. He looked so much like mother. The dark straight hair, smooth handsome face and those piercing emerald green eyes.

“Brother, please.”

“If you really care for this man, stay away from him. Father will never approve.”

She shuddered. She knows what her father does to the people he never approves of. It is never kind. Nor gentle.

“I understand.”

That night, when quarter of the moon is high in the night sky, she climbed out of her window and down a tree branch that grew close to her bedroom window. She low under the shadow, straining her ears to hear any movements that would indicate pursuit.

Her boots made shuffling sounds when she steps on dried leaves. She looked around before proceeding to a familiar path that would lead to the lake, a good five kilometres away from the house.

By the lake, where she met with him for last two and a half months, stood a young man with a mane of unruly curly hair. He turned and saw her. He smiled.

He crept to her silently and cradled her face with his large, callused hands. He bent down and pressed his soft lips against hers.

A few hours passed, and she found herself thinking about the way his hands held hers, how his muscular arms easily carried her, his chest heaving hard as he tried to catch his breathe. She closed her eyes and saw his purple eyes looking into her bare soul, her bare back against the cold earth. She rested her hand on her chest. She can still feel the way his lips traced her neck, his tongue gliding softly down her chest and his strong hands gently cupping her and sending her to bliss.

Everything ended the following week.

Her doors were locked and her windows barred. The young man with purple eyes was dragged away, a single name hung in the air as he was buried.

Life goes on

There comes a point in our lives that we feel stuck in a rut. Unable to move forward, unable to forget or forgive, unable to think sensibly. And no matter how much our friends try to help us, it seems that no small talk, or big talk for that, can get through us.

This point in our lives can be brought about by a death of a loved one, a really bad day at work, a fight with your bestest best friend and, the most of them all, a break up.

I have recently gone through this phase in my life. I refused to talk to my friends about what happened and I kept all the hatred (both to myself and my ex), self-pity and anger bottled up inside me. I thought I was doing fine until the day came that the bottled feelings exploded and I broke down. I got sick both physically and emotionally. My anger paralyzed me.

 I felt so betrayed by the person who I trusted with my gravest, darkest secrets. The fact that I’m an asshole magnet came crashing to me and it slapped me so hard across the face. I knew then that I fell, hard and broken.

My eureka moment came that one rainy day at the office when I was scanning through some webpages. I came across a phrase that changed the way I look at my situation: “The strong is broken so they may ask for strength.”

From this experience, I learned to face my fears and face the fact that I am not alright, that I am broken.

I realized that we are continuously challenged and broken so we may find ourselves over and over and realize the things that actually matter in our lives. I realized that no matter how hard friends try to help friends, nothing will come of it until the person acknowledges that there is a problem, that not everything is going the way we want it to be, that things go the way they should for us to learn our lessons and become better people. I kept reminding myself that things happen for a reason and it gave me the strength to believe in the purpose of things again. I started to believe that I have a purpose in this life.  

 

We learn to forgive the hard way, we learn to love through our hatred, we learn to open our eyes in the darkness and face our worst fears.

Surprisingly, once I accepted the fact that something is wrong, it gradually faded away along with all the pain and hatred that came along with it. I started seeing the light and the blessings continued to come into my life. New opportunities came to me like low hanging fruits. All I had to do was grab them.

I know that some time in the future, I will find myself at this point again but with new challenges, new pain and new lessons to learn.

But I know that as long as I continue to believe, live and be happy, the pain and the tears will be all worth it.

And life goes on.

Other World: The Four Kingdoms

The Four Great Kingdoms of Atlantis

Atlantis itself has three moons: Gaia, Maia and Freia. Atlanteneans worship one god, but also believe in the guardians sent by Emreh to guard each kingdom.

At the western end of Atlantis lies the Tree of Life, an immense tree that is the center of all living things in Atlantis. It was once shared by the Humans and Atlanteneans. The time came when humans started to develop machines that polluted the whole world and threatened the destruction of the Tree, thus ending all life on Earth. The Atlanteneans stood to protect their precious Tree, later on raging war against the humans. Emreh and Yahweh decided to separate the worlds they created to prevent the destruction of both, “sinking” Atlantis in the deep ocean floor, protected by a wall with wards and enchantments.  It was later on referred to as "The Great War of Separation".

Atlanteneans do not believe that animals should be taken as food, a notable difference between the human culture and Atlantenean culture. They believe that all life is sacred, and each life is part of the grand design. Alteration of one part would lead to the destruction of the others. Needless to say, an Atlantenean diet consist mostly of fruits and vegetables, but others also include flowers, honey, sap and other flora.

Hayaji

Sometimes called the “Capital of Music and Arts”, Hayaji is located north of Atlantis on a huge floating island. Their population is small compared to the other kingdoms, but they claim to be rich not only in people but also in tradition and resources. 

The Sa House: The infamous Sa House is an establishment run by Madam Youna, where young girls are taken in to be trained in the arts of war, dance, music, prose and many other. The House of Sa is responsible for all the social gatherings in the kingdom, whether it is royal, private or public. Their performers are known for their talent and intelligence, and their colourful and extravagant garments. 

Blessed Beings: The Blessed, as most of the Hayans prefer to call them, are rare creatures of Atlantis who are born with wings on their backs, resembling angels. Before the Great War that resulted to the separation of Atlantis from the rest of the world, the Blessed were believed to be messengers of their gods.

The Hayan’s ancient guardian is a giant black tortoise, immortalized by their crest: a black tortoise on a silver background. Their country colors are derived from their crest.

The Hayans, or inhabitants of Hayaji have wavy golden hair and piercing, icy blue eyes. Most of the migrants have their eye or hair colors different, due the inter-marriage between the local and the migrants. The characteristic is always true, however to those of royal lineage.

 

Feura

The kingdom of warriors and smiths, Feura is known for their weapons, art of war and techniques as well as their loyalty and jewelry. Feura is located at the south and is situated beside an active volcano. Other Atlanteneans say that Feurans are born out of fires and are immune to its dreadful heat, that’s why they can forge easily in the heat of the volcano.

 

The Feuran’s ancient guardian is a golden phoenix, immortalized by their crest: a golden phoenix on a red background. Like the Hayans, their country colors are derived from their crest.

The inhabitants of Feura are known to have dark hair color, ranging from black to brown and big round eyes. Royalty however have been witnessed to have golden brown to light yellow eyes.

Callisto

The eastern kingdom is known for their jewelry and it may be the only kingdom to contend to the singing abilities of the Hayan performers. Many say that their songs can sing s dragon to sleep, thus earning them the ancient guardian, the blue water dragon. It is also said that their armors are light and durable because they are forged in the light of moon and the volcanoes under water.

The Callisteans are peace loving people and accepts change better than the hard-headed Feurans, apathetic Hayans and fierce Seresans.

Atlanteneans are relatively good swimmers and can hold their breath for a long period of time. But Callisteans are exceptional swimmers and are said to be able to breathe underwater, since 90% of their domain lies underwater.

The Callistean’s ancient guardian is a majestic water dragon, who is said to hold a crystal orb in its claw that foretold Atlantis’ fate. It is immortalized in their crest: an electric blue dragon on black background.

A notable Callistean trait is their strong build, which plays a vital role in navigating in the water, and silver hair. Royalty however are easily recognized by their silver eyes, ivory skin and pearly tears.

Seresa

Literally means “cherry blossoms”, Seresa is full of beautiful, majestic trees, bird songs and peaceful animals.

Emreh, their god, bestowed them the title “Guardians of the Ancient Forest”, which is home to the Tree of Life.

 

The Seresans exhibit exceptional courage, fierce determination, great strength and stamina. They have strong, lean builds and most of them are characterized by dark wavy hair and dark, deep set eyes.

Their ancient guardian is a strong and fierce white tiger, immortalized by their crest: a white tiger on a green background.

DISCLAIMER: ALL PHOTOS ARE NOT OWNED BY KALAI. SKETCHES MADE BY KALAI. No copyright infringement intended.

Dreams

I used to dream of living in a simple white house with a mango tree at the back.

I dreamed of wearing the cute white dress and releasing paper lanterns during our wedding.

I dreamed of having three wonderful kids, whom we’d share many thrilling adventures.

I dreamed of roaming around the world, trying interesting and famous food in each country.

I dreamed of one day, when I’m really, really old, I’d wake up and see your sweet smile and say “good morning”.

I dreamed of holding your hand, walking under the afternoon sun in UP Diliman.

But I realized that even if some dreams are meant to be pursued, there are those that should remain as dreams. Dreams considered as mere illusions and creations of the mind, instead of objects of passion and aspirations.

In choosing to let these dreams stay as mere delusions and illusions, I find myself given a different path to take, other opportunities to pursue and more choices to consider.

I hope that in taking a different path opens broader, if not similar avenues for you to take. I wish you all the best in the path you wish to take, if you ever decide to take it.